How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
