Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
