I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
