I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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