she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
