so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
