then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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