u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
