You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
