We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Randomize
