So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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