Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Sorry my hands just texted you
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
