I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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