Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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