wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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