Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
