Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize