Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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