Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
