I wish i was in the wii world.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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