the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
