I wish I could punch you in the face.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
