I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
