Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
