if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i think i have herpe
just one?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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