Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
