oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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