I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
