I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
