dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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