so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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