remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
