There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
how do flat chested girls get laid?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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