super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
