Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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