the new term for farting is butt boxing.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
