Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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