Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
