i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
