No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
