I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
