her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
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