she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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