All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize