shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
