you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
it's like iHOP with fire
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
