I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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