True but thats because hes a fetus.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
In America we eat man semen.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
