yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
