I showed him my bush... on skype.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
