I just made out with a guy for $7.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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