I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
