there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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