What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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