i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
