Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
