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think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Is it because I queefed?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
