Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
