i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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