my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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