Screwed.edu
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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