she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
