ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
